A Place for the Telling of Stories... Short Ones, Anyway...
This is another version of the paragraph referenced in my latest blog post. I couldn't find the original to save my life, unfortunately, but I did find my notes, so I decided to write another paragraph (or two!), just to showcase the power of little details in storytelling. Enjoy!
Ashley's Sample Paragraph ver.2
It started out as an ordinary Wednesday afternoon. As the familiar blue and white passenger van pulled to the curb in front of my school, our yard monitor called me over, pointed in the direction of the van, then finally allowed me outside the school's gates. Happy the day was over, I walked quickly to the van, watching the hands of the other kids, already inside, fly over to the handle to open the door for me. Once inside and seated in my usual seat, one of the younger kids decided that she was old enough to try to close the door herself. She was fooling around with the door, and making a big show of trying to close it herself. The Sitter told her to quit messing around, and to let one of the bigger kids close the sliding metal door. After a few more minutes of trying, during which she tried to push the door so hard she ended up slipping on the floorboard, one of the bigger kids finally got her settled in her seat, and closed the door.
While that was happening, I noticed another friend furiously scribbling in his notebook. I asked him what he was writing. He told me that he bet the sitter that if he could finish his homework before we got to the daycare, he could play basketball with some of the older boys for the remainder of the afternoon. As much as he loved basketball, and would sometimes not finish all of his homework in order to be able to play, I was interested to see if he would finish in time. He worked diligently through our last two pickups, then I saw him close his notebook with a satisfied smile mere seconds before we pulled into the driveway at the daycare. The same kid that was fiddling with the door when I got picked up, now tried to be the first person to open the door when we stopped, and nearly hurled herself out of the van in the process. We all laughed, after making sure she was okay, of course, then piled out of the van, heading inside for homework time, a snack, and the rest of our standard afternoon.
Ashley's Sample Paragraph ver.2
It started out as an ordinary Wednesday afternoon. As the familiar blue and white passenger van pulled to the curb in front of my school, our yard monitor called me over, pointed in the direction of the van, then finally allowed me outside the school's gates. Happy the day was over, I walked quickly to the van, watching the hands of the other kids, already inside, fly over to the handle to open the door for me. Once inside and seated in my usual seat, one of the younger kids decided that she was old enough to try to close the door herself. She was fooling around with the door, and making a big show of trying to close it herself. The Sitter told her to quit messing around, and to let one of the bigger kids close the sliding metal door. After a few more minutes of trying, during which she tried to push the door so hard she ended up slipping on the floorboard, one of the bigger kids finally got her settled in her seat, and closed the door.
While that was happening, I noticed another friend furiously scribbling in his notebook. I asked him what he was writing. He told me that he bet the sitter that if he could finish his homework before we got to the daycare, he could play basketball with some of the older boys for the remainder of the afternoon. As much as he loved basketball, and would sometimes not finish all of his homework in order to be able to play, I was interested to see if he would finish in time. He worked diligently through our last two pickups, then I saw him close his notebook with a satisfied smile mere seconds before we pulled into the driveway at the daycare. The same kid that was fiddling with the door when I got picked up, now tried to be the first person to open the door when we stopped, and nearly hurled herself out of the van in the process. We all laughed, after making sure she was okay, of course, then piled out of the van, heading inside for homework time, a snack, and the rest of our standard afternoon.
