Welcome to Our House of Perpetual Distraction!  Clear a spot and have a seat...
House of Perpetual Distraction
  • Thoughts, Feelings, Impressions: Blog
  • Oh, The Stories I Could Tell...
  • Well, Since You Asked... About Me
  • Contact: Hi!
  • Yes, Tips are Accepted

Hindsight

1/10/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Funny what you come across when you start looking through old stuff.

I was reading through my old hard drive to see what I might be able to delete.  I came across an essay I wrote a few years ago for entrance into an online college, and I was immediately struck by how similar it was to what I went through recently.  It completely validates the old axiom about the things staying the same, no matter how they appear to change.  I am posting the essay below, newly edited (Boy howdy was my editing slipshod back then!), with my updated observations in parenthesis. This reminded me not only as of how elusive adequate, affordable housing is, but of how easily good intentions go out the windows on short notice.  

Picture
I realized that I possessed a great deal of determination and perseverance during the period of time that I was functionally homeless.  First, let me clarify what I mean by “functionally homeless”.  A person is functionally homeless when they have no permanent address of their own, but they are living with a series of friends and relative temporarily.  During this five year period, I lived variously with a man with whom I had a relationship, my older sister, and in a motel.  I realized that in order to overcome this challenge, at least three things needed to happen:  I needed to be more forthcoming about my past rental history, I needed to be sure I  had a stable job, and made enough money, to enable me to cover my housing expenses over the long term, and perhaps the most important thing, I needed to get a firmer handle on proper management of my household finances.  As I already had one child, then gave birth to another in the middle of this mess, remedying this situation was urgent. ( I didn't know it at the time, but even the most well thought out plans can be derailed.)

That I was going to have to be more honest and upfront about my rental history occurred to me around one year into looking for another apartment.  I knew I had been evicted before, and more than once.  On every rental application, there is a box to check if you have ever been the subject of an unlawful detainer lawsuit.  An Unlawful Detainer is the legal term for an eviction, and I had a few of them in my background.  I didn't know that these types of entries into your credit report remained for 7 years.  I also didn't know that landlords, apartment owners and property management firms  could get this information for free, while charging me anywhere from $25 to $35 for the privilege of telling me that since I had been evicted, and therefore they couldn't rent to me.  The more your credit history is requested the lower your credit score becomes, and after four years, nearly $300 in application fees, and nearly a 100 point drop in my credit score,  I finally figured out that I should tell the owner or landlord that I had been evicted before any money changed hands.  This allowed me find out early on whether or not I would be a serious candidate for tenancy.  Eventually, using this tactic saved me roughly $100, and actually led me to getting the apartment I have now, so I guess it was an effective strategy. (Unless of course you are dealing with a VERY recent eviction.  In that case discretion in the better part of valor.)

The stability and adequate income issues were all neatly solved when I started working for the City, my current employer.  Until, I started working for the City, I had been a “temp”, which is to say I was an independent contractor that received work form temporary agencies.  Although I had done this for years, and the money was often more than adequate, the nature of temping long term, is that you are never sure when your contract was going to end.  If you are a person that is looking for an apartment, and already have multiple evictions on your record, the appearance of instability is one you likely want to avoid.  I felt blessed to have solved two problems with one job. (Yes and no.  I am beginning to see that I can have either some place to live, or some way to get around.  Even with a low level civil service job, it is VERY difficult to have any extras. The choices are heartbreaking if you are supporting anyone other than yourself.)

The getting a better handle on my household finances was a great deal harder than I first thought it would be.  I understood from an early age that all important bills were paid first: rent, utilities, food.  What led me to grievous financial issues, were the ill-advised purchase of a lemon, a used car that cost more to repair than the car’s actual value, and several ingrained bad habits that often used whatever disposable income I did have.  The first part of this solution came in the form of a simple budget that was taught to me by a friend years ago.  It involves listing your expenses in order from most to least, and comparing it against your income.  The second part of this solution came from using all of the free budgeting tools offered by my bank.  It took three years, but this method was so effective, it recently allowed me to purchase another car. (It becomes a choice: Annoy the crap out of everyone you know by always needing a ride for three people, or try to squeeze some sort of reliable transportation out of a tiny budget.  I've realized that reliability was always going to be questionable.  Either I was going to have a clunker with a lot of problems, or a very high car note.)

Achieving financial stability, in order to maintain housing stability was a challenge I wasn't expecting to face.  I took it for granted that I would always have or easily be able to find another job or assignment, and that I would take care of my bills and responsibilities without issue.  The last five years have been an education for me the likes of which I don’t think I would ever find in a classroom.  And the kind I wouldn't wish on anybody else! (Nor was it a lesson that I expected to have to repeat.  Or keep repeating for that matter.)

Picture
When I look back over the events of the last few months, then look back at this essay, I realize that the struggles that plague the working class have only intensified.  It is my fervent wish to not have to spend every waking moment trying to figure out what I have to sacrifice to maintain adequate shelter for my children and myself.  Like so many in this country, I thought that finding a job, and keeping my expenses as low as possible would be the answer to all of my prayers.  I didn't know my prayers would change, and that all of my efforts were going to end up re-directed to just trying to maintain the little bit I did have..

Not quite the way I, or anyone for that matter, wants to live.  But so much where we are.

le sigh...
0 Comments

Going Forward

1/1/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
I have a set of New Year's Eve and New Year's Day rituals, that while essentially meaningless, I take great comfort in, if only because they are familiar.  Nothing harmful, mind you, just things I do to close out one year, and usher in the next.

For the last couple of years, this ritual has included a church service, then either back at home, or over to my sister's apartment, to just hang out, watch movies, talk and laugh until just before midnight, when we turn on the countdown on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve (every year, without fail), for the last few minutes before the clock strikes 12:00.  We toast the New year, my sisters and I text each other and our mom, and after we all wind down, and the kids are in bed, I say a prayer, thanking God for surviving the year that passed, and expressing my hopes for the coming year.  Then I make sure I wake up early enough to catch the first showing of the Tournament of Roses Parade (the one without the commercials), an annual tradition here in Southern California that leads up to the annual Rose Bowl game between college football teams..  Then I spend the remainder of the day relaxing, and/or preparing myself for whatever is going to come next in my life.

For whatever reason, I tend to pay particular attention to the first song I hear at or after midnight. I guess in my own way I think the song is either setting the tone for the year ahead, or telling me something about the year that just ended.  Generally, I tend to have the radio on as well as the television, and for several years, the first song I heard was "New Year's Day" by U2.  Which is fine, but I started thinking that maybe because this is a song about war and politics that contains the statement "Nothing changes on New Year's Day", maybe this is not the tone that I really want to set fot the new year.

This year, the host of the countdown stated that Elton John would be performing soon after the break, so, seeing as I am an Elton John fan, I opted to wait before turning off the living room tv.  My reward for not hastily turning off the tv, was that the first song I heard in the New Year was the 1983 Elton John hit, "I'm Still Standing", performed live (well on tape delay because we are on the West Coast) by the artist himself.  My kind of New Year theme!

Although the song is ostensibly about a man surviving numerous attempts by a former romantic partner to leave him defeated and depressed, I wonder if Mr. John realized how many people would recognize themselves or their circumstances in that song?   Does he know how many people see that song as inspiration to keep going through tough times?  This song tells us that, if you can arrive on the other end of your struggles, not just on your feet, but feeling triumphant for having survived it, you will eventually begin to put your life back together, and yes, you will be okay.

It certainly is the story of this past year of my life, especially the last few months.  I've found out recently that the fall out from my financial troubles are far from over, and I have many months of struggle ahead, but you know what?  I''m still standing.  I have a solid spiritual foundation, a rich internal life, and friends and family to listen to me when I need to talk.  I can go forward, even if because going backward is impossible, and while looking back may provide with some ideas of what I did wrong, and subsequently what I want to avoid, dwelling there will do far more harm than good.  

I'm still standing.

I still have a civil service job with a small, but steady, paycheck, and will be facing issues and opportunities with both in the coming days and months.  I've been here before, and I will get through this, hopefully wise enough to not make the same mistakes that got me into this mess in the first place.

I'm still standing.

My son hit some roadblocks on his way to getting on with his life, and it looks like there will be additional delays in his eventual exit.  My daughter is cruising towards her VERY emotional teens.  I have some support, but as always, on the day to day stuff, the micromanagement is still mostly on me.

So many things meant to destroy my spirit, break me down or just keep me running in circles so as not to get anything accomplished.  For so many others as well, the last 3-4 months of 2014 were devastating.  But I made it.  We all did. And by the Grace of God, going forward into 2015, I'm still standing.  I hope you are to.

Be well in the New Year.

0 Comments

    Erica Washington

    A dedicated stream of consciousness that sometimes runs off course...

    Archives

    October 2019
    August 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    420
    Art
    Autumn
    Birthday
    Black History
    Books
    Childhood
    Christianity
    Christmas
    Cooking
    Dreams
    Economy
    Education
    Exercise
    Faith
    Family
    Fear
    Film
    Fitness
    Food
    Goals
    Hiking
    Holiday
    Homeless
    Housing
    Humor
    Hymn
    Inner Thoughts
    Intelligence
    Judgement
    Los Angeles
    Love
    Money
    Movies
    Music
    Nature
    Nerd
    New Year
    Outdoors
    Peace
    Politics
    Pope Francis
    Presidents
    Quiet
    Relationships
    Religion
    Sex
    Siblings
    Single Parent
    Social Skills
    Spirituality
    Starting
    Technology
    Television
    Tween
    Urban
    Walking
    Women
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from photosteve101, David Paul Ohmer, torbakhopper HE DEAD, WeGotKidz, omahanik, jeFRE Gilyen, Bex.Walton, qthomasbower, dmott9, McD22