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Alone

8/9/2015

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My son left for San Diego, and the Job Corps program just under two weeks ago.

My daughter is on a field trip to Knott's Berry Farm with her Daycare/Day Camp buddies.

And for the first time in quite some time, I have been in my house alone for an entire day.

No wondering when my adult son was going to wander in and out of the house, or fretting over why he wasn't doing much today, or being frustrated by the fact that he didn't seem to be making any progress.

No counting exactly six and 1/2 hours between dropping my daughter off at school, and running to go pick her up.  When she goes to amusement parks with her group, they generally close the park down, so I won't see her until much later on tonight.

And I am alone.

If I didn't have the TV to provide background noise, I would find myself listening to a new and unfamiliar silence in my home.  Not unwelcome, mind you, just unusual, considering I am used to music or several televisions or some loud phone conversation always going on somewhere around me.  It is clear that a presence that used to be here suddenly isn't, and there is something new to get used to.

I do a little cleaning, a little writing, a little binge-watching of an old favorite tv show, and even manage to sneak in a little nap.

And I contemplate a time, likely seven years from now, when this silence will be my normal.  As my daughter prepares to enter middle school, I realize that someday soon, I will be alone in the house all the time.

And I think I am ready.

I think about the many things that I have been putting off until either this child peels off, or that child is old enough to stay home alone for a little while.  I think about traveling, missionary work, writing full-time.

Like the commercial says, I begin to consider the possibilities.

All of these things occur to me as I begin my search for another place for my daughter and I to live, as this place turned from blessing to not quite what I thought it was.  I will be searching for an affordable place, nearby, for a mother and daughter, and a son who will be home on winter break only.  So occasionally, there will be again three people in the house, but mostly, there will just be two of us.  However, on my days off, when my daughter is off being an adolescent, I will be in my home, alone.

And I will enjoy it.

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    Erica Washington

    A dedicated stream of consciousness that sometimes runs off course...

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