Welcome to Our House of Perpetual Distraction!  Clear a spot and have a seat...
House of Perpetual Distraction
  • Thoughts, Feelings, Impressions: Blog
  • Oh, The Stories I Could Tell...
  • Well, Since You Asked... About Me
  • Contact: Hi!
  • Yes, Tips are Accepted

The Eyes Have It

12/29/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Everybody has a "thing": a certain little something that catches your notice when you first meet someone.  Because no one can immediately see what kind of personality a person has, more than likely your initial "thing" will be something physical.  And we all know some body part aficionados: legs, breasts, hair.  We are all at least a little guilty of being mesmerized by some aspect of another person's outward appearance.

I am just as guilty as anybody.  I am about as into male objectification as most single women my age.  I marveled at the well formed bodies of the men in Magic Mike, and I enjoy the, ahem, sight seeing on warm days in Southern California, when men turn to tank tops and shorts for relief from the heat.

But if I were to be completely honest, I would admit that I am a huge sucker for a beautiful pair of eyes.  Color doesn't matter.  I always thought it was a cliche that the eyes were the windows to the soul.  I don't know if I would go quite that far, but I know that really paying attention, and looking right at people during a conversation, can often tell you almost all you need to know about that person.

It's a habit I picked up after taking a class on work habits and study skills at a local community college.  We went through a section on different types of listening, and I was most struck by the instructor's definition of active listening: When you are completely silent, and absolutely focused on the person you are in a conversation with.  

Far beyond just looking away when they are not telling the complete truth (and even that isn't always necessarily true), you will always be able to get pretty close to what's going on with people internally if you watch their eyes during a conversation.  You will learn that even while smiling and insisting that they are "okay",someone's eyes can tell you that they are actually in the worst pain of their lives.  It takes a lot of learned empathy to see a person's life through their eyes, not just their words.  I've heard people say the sweetest things, while seeing the judgement and condescension in their eyes.  It was more than a touch disconcerting, and unfortunately confirmed suspicions I already harbored about those same people.

If I ever decide that I want to be in another relationship, I hope to find a person with nice eyes.  Not blue or green or hazel necessarily.  Although those would be nice, I mean a person whose eyes show me that kindness and understanding are a part of their internal makeup.  I've mentioned before that as much as I like a pretty face, internal qualities are extremely important, and we all need somewhere to start ascertaining what those qualities are.  I figure the eyes are as good a place to start as any.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Erica Washington

    A dedicated stream of consciousness that sometimes runs off course...

    Archives

    October 2019
    August 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    December 2016
    September 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    420
    Art
    Autumn
    Birthday
    Black History
    Books
    Childhood
    Christianity
    Christmas
    Cooking
    Dreams
    Economy
    Education
    Exercise
    Faith
    Family
    Fear
    Film
    Fitness
    Food
    Goals
    Hiking
    Holiday
    Homeless
    Housing
    Humor
    Hymn
    Inner Thoughts
    Intelligence
    Judgement
    Los Angeles
    Love
    Money
    Movies
    Music
    Nature
    Nerd
    New Year
    Outdoors
    Peace
    Politics
    Pope Francis
    Presidents
    Quiet
    Relationships
    Religion
    Sex
    Siblings
    Single Parent
    Social Skills
    Spirituality
    Starting
    Technology
    Television
    Tween
    Urban
    Walking
    Women
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from photosteve101, David Paul Ohmer, torbakhopper HE DEAD, WeGotKidz, omahanik, jeFRE Gilyen, Bex.Walton, qthomasbower, dmott9, McD22